TreeRatHunter.Com NEWS

The Great White Tree Rat Hunter Unable to Make it Home for the Holidays - From the Associated Press - Ducktown Tennessee – November 27, 2009

  The Great White Tree Rat Hunter tells reporters that the only regrets  he has of late is that he will not be able to make it home to Jemison, Alabama this holiday season due to his involvement in the war. “They are giving us no leaves this season” said G. W. (Tree Rat) Hunter to reporters covering the war of the Pecan Groves in Ducktown, Tennessee.

“We have combined forces to try to eliminate the theft of as many pecans as possible, by those little furry tail pecan thieving varmints, as we can. With the recent economic down fall we need all the Christmas Pecans we can salvage to help off set recent drops in income.” GW  goes on to say. “The only regrets I will have this Christmas will be not seeing my family all together for Christmas dinner and getting a slice of my momma’s fresh Pecan pie.  Momma rest assured that we are doing everything within our power to make sure that the pecan supply does not dry up like the job market seems to be doing in the rest of the US. Hey Momma can you send one of those Pecan pies up with Andy when he comes to join our forces? Not getting to catch up on the College and school events of the last year, first hand, with my 2 nieces and 6 nephews will really be a blow to my heart. I really want to know every detail of the years events so you little whipper snappers need to E-mail me at bcox@treerathunter.com and fill me in.” Honey Bee Hunter sends her love to all. Have a Marry Christmas and a very Happy and Prosperous New Year.

The Tree Rat Hunter Almost Arrested For Indecent Exposure - From the associated press -  Frog Jump Tennessee -  August 5, 2008 

The Great White Tree Rat Hunter was almost arrested for indecent exposure in Frog Jump Tennessee Saturday while hunting for squirrels.  While stalking the little varmints G.W sat down on a log next to Frog Jump Creek to steady his aim and take a shot at a very elusive squirrel. In his full camouflage garb and with his new Crosman Custom Shop 2250 outfitted with a 3X9 scope, 24” .22 cal barrel, black muzzle break, black trigger shoe, and camouflage stock he failed to take notice that the log was also a home for a colony of fire ants.  In his excitement of finely being able to draw a bead on a large tree rat that had been eluding him since early morning he did not notice that the ants soon filled his pants. When the first ant stung him on the leg he held steady to get off the fatal shot right to the kill zone. The 4 pound gray squirrel  hit the ground about 25 yards in front of him. G.W. then swatted at the sting setting off the whole colony of ants that by this time were founding a new home in his pants. As the ants began to sting him with the force and furry of Napoleon’s Army  he striped down to his birthday suit and jumped into Frog Jump Creek, in one motion like a magic trick, in an effort to soothe the stings that had set off his Tourette’s  Syndrome.

A Game Warden hearing the commotion from a near by thicket came over to see what the problem was. The Game Warden walked up on G.W. still soothing himself in the creek and asked him what was going on. In his embarrassment, he asked the Game Warden ( a very attractive redheaded woman ) if she would kindly hand him his britches from under his Custom Shop 2250 and assured her he could explain why he was in the creek naked. When the Game Warden paused while retrieving the attire, to admire G.W. ’s new 2250, G.W. found out why they call it Frog Jump Creek as one of the amphibians grazed his derriere . This set off another tourette’s attack and it has been reported that G.W. leaped a recorded height of 20 feet landing on the Game Warden. The stunned Game Warden quickly arose to her feet drawing her sidearm and holding a steady eye and bead on the naked  Tree Rat Hunter. While shaking the ants out of his camouflage suit, in his full man glory, he poured on that southern charm and, as he dressed, he explained what had happened.  When the Game Warden was satisfied with his story and was assured that G.W. was not intending to attack her, they had a tear jerking laugh and made a date for dinner. Camp fire Squirrel stew and cornbread was reported to be the meal and the two also reportedly seem to be in love and are talking of plans to marry . When interviewed the Game Warden would not comment on question of if it was G.W. ‘s man glory or his southern charm that has brought the two together romantically.    

Cut and Shoot, TX - Saturday, June 30, 2007

 G.W. TreeRat Hunter was released by Texas Rangers after accusations by environmentalists that he was screaming obscenities in public. While tree rat hunting on the edge of town, some west coast tree huggers showed up to protest his hunting activities. When they scared one of the squirrel varmints away, ole G.W.T.H. reached into his hunting vest for some pellets to pop them smartly on their fannies (the tree huggers, not the squirrels). However, instead of reaching into the ammo pocket, he reached into the killed game pocket, and one of those treacherous little tree rats that had not yet succumbed to his fatal wound decided to try to take one of the enemy out with him. When he sank his oversized rodent incisors in ole G.W.T.H.'s hand, it seems there was an uncontrollable expellation of expletives that would have blistered a sailor's ears. However, G.W.T.H. explained to the police that all the excitement had triggered an onset of Tourette's Syndrome, and he assured them that he would no longer be a problem if they'd just let him leave town. They agreed.

Bucksnort, TN - Tuesday, June 26, 2007

 G.W. TreeRat Hunter, an avid small game hunter and air-gun enthusiast launches newly updated website at www.treerathunter.com sporting a frames layout, a new logo and improved navigation. This site, dedicated air-gun sportsmen and squirrel hunters, is still under construction by JimiLee.Com Web Design. G.W. TreeRat Hunter announced that Jimi Lee will have the forum (message board) up and running soon, and that product lines, along with shopping cart and credit card acceptance conveniences are additional features to follow shortly thereafter.